Sunday, July 19, 2009
So, those are my before photos. Taken Friday, July 17, 2009. 3 days before surgery. If anything I've learned through massage school it was to accept your self. I mean, we had to get undressed, walk around in sheets and have perfect strangers massage our near naked bodies, on the very first day of class. So world.... this is me. I can't wait for my arms to lay straight to my sides.
Surgery is scheduled for 8:00 am on July 20, 2009. That's tomorrow. I can hardly believe it's all come so quickly. People keep asking my if I'm nervous. I can't say nervous, but the anticipation is killing me. It's like being a child and waiting for Christmas. You just NEED it to be here already.
The psychologist talked to up about the self arguments you have just prior to surgery. It's true. I can't tell you all how many times I've gone back and forth about how I don't really need this, I'm blowing things out of proportion, There are people out there who need this more than I do. And the truth is: I do need this, everything else I have done in past years to manage my weight has absolutely failed, and in turn I felt like a failure for being unable to control it. I'm not blowing things out if proportion, my life will not get better if I cannot lose this weight. I will develop type 2 diabetes, and probably some more very serious conditions. And it is true, there are people out there that need this more than I do. But I need to do this for me, take care of myself, and then I can help better take care of others.
Such is life.
I'll update in a few days and let you all know how everything went.