Monday, June 29, 2009
My time is coming.
Well, I will be 25 in one week... and my surgery is three weeks from today.
I'm not nervous for my surgery. I know what is meant to happen will happen. What I can't seem to wrap my head around is how I may look. The dreaded skin folds, or will it not be too bad. Skin looses memory, it becomes damaged. Where my skin may look just fine on my 307 pound frame, it's still a mystery what it may look like on a 250, 200, or 150 pound frame. I'm prepared for the fact I may need skin removal. But I've already made the decision not to do so until Steven and I are done having children. I think that is the wisest choice.
In addition to how my skin will look, I have a rather large tattoo on my lower back... Now... with the weight loss, what will it look like (besides a giant red penis... I could kill the "artist" for that) (which will be recolored!!!! After the weight settles)
Anyway... I've seen where they have done the skin removal from the back too, and left a tattoo literally cut in half. the tattoo is just on my back now... but when I loose the excess weight.. where will it end up? Hip to hip? Wrapping around my hips? Just don't know.
So, surgery in three weeks, pre-op instructions next week. Everyday I get a little more excited.
My next tattoo? My surgery date, small and delicate, where I can see it always... To remember the day I worked towards. The day that will change the rest of my life. To remember the struggle of 25 years of being fat (yes, from what I understand I was a chubby baby too). And to forever remember the day I took the first real (irreversible) step towards a healthy future not only for my but my family, and the children I want.
Enough of my babble... Goodnight